Tuesday, November 14, 2017 at 12:38 PM with
Well, as the title of the post has suggested - -taa-daaa!

Haha yeah I sound like I don't really give a fuck but actually I do, just a little. Its not that I am being egoistic and trying to admit my fault lol. I don't deny that yes there is some fault in the way I talked to my senior colleagues and maybe they way I do things are not very "professional" or up to their "expectation" but yeah, I have my reasons too (not always right but you know).

So I am still having my part-time weekend receptionist job (since last October). I has been slightly over a year and to be honest, while the pay is good ($10/hr), commitment is low (I work once per week and I get to interact with kids, I don't think I will stay there for long.

Nope, not saying that I want to quit because I got scolded last Sunday. I actually wanted to tender on that very day itself before the reprimanding came.

Summary of what my senior colleague said:
She felt that my attitude at work has been deteriorating and like since we work in an enrichment center and we need to serve customers/parents too, its not nice to pull a long face and seem as though the whole world owes me. Plus, she felt that I have been working here for quite some time already and I am not improving. She also asked if I feel that I did respect her or not, because she felt that I did not. She also said that its not nice if I just shouted across (fyi its prolly like around 3m away) and said that there is enquiry because it sounded like a market and its not professional.
To be honest, I don't deny that I care less about my work now. Like yeah, I did not take note of my facial expression and I would not offer to ask if there is anything for me to do. I just kind of waited for them to allocate work for me. I didn't offer because my jobscope is pretty mundane and not always will there be something for me to do.

When I first got the job, this was my expectation:
- greeting of customers
- attending to walk-ins/answering to phone calls
- open the doors to allow parents to come in/leave
- taking temperature for the kids before lesson starts
- putting parents shoes in the shoe shelves because some of them just not auto and I have seen kids tripping over shoes lol.
- occasional filing
- other adhocs (e.g. prepping and making of lesson materials) and house-keeping duties
Its reasonable and for the pay that I have its seriously not a bad part time job at all.

But I always felt that its hard to fit in because I rarely work/interact with other part timers because there is only one part-time weekend receptionist on sat/sun. And like the full timers, they have their own bonding and they mostly come from Malaysia (as in like common topic, similar background) so I think its easier for them to bond and become close to one another. Also, their working method and sense of humour is really different from me.

Personally, I won't bother faking or put effort into a new relationship (in general) if I know that we are not going to be long-term friends or what. So after a while, I pretty much didn't bother to interact with them unless I need to (for work). But yeah, sometimes my tone sounds rude because I speak really frank and with so much more stress in school (its really bad that I finally decided to speak to a counsellor to get some help), I didn't try to be tactful or make my words sound nicer.

And to me, I really wish that people will just maybe drop some hint or just say it directly rather than keep quiet, give chance and then later one shot just release and to spill everything out. Its like not giving me a chance to redeem myself.

To me flexibility and freedom is super important. But here I am doing my own work in my own way and they are like saying I should not do it this way, I should do it that way. Lol. Like, if there is method "abc" to cut stickers, they will say use method "xyz" because this this this but ya know what, it gets the job done and around the same time so I don't see the point???

Usually keep the parents shoes after most of them are in class. Since lesson timings are at least an hour, I had about 45mins at least to pack the shoes. To me its like, as long as a pack it before class dismisses, its fine. But to them its like - immediately, now, cannot wait. Then after a while, it sounded like nagging to me which I kind of shut myself off it lol.

They have never let me collect payment (was not briefed about the procedure) until recently and each time they wanted to teach me to get use to something, its always at weird and awkward timing whereby another class is entering and after that I am knocking off. Like how? And sometimes they just offer to take and do it. Like they could just say things like: "Okay from this week on you do this etc ..." but they just automatically doing it instead so it becomes like - oh they will do it.

While I don't mind switching from task to task but not when I am in the middle of counting or something that is about to be done but yet I need to attend other things?

I do not deny that the other full time receptionist are nice and they did helped me a lot. But seriously, I felt like some of them are just, rigid and they have to do things by a fixed steps.

Its not as though its a huge corporation that has a culture of its own and some times, somethings can be done differently and you can still get the same result. If even simple, mundane jobs also needs to follow a fixed set of steps and they have to keep commenting on the way I do it - its like questioning my ability to do a simple task. And that made me unhappy.

After some time, I just chose not interact with them, do things on my own. If they ask me to do something, I do it and I rarely talk much to them. Which is nothing wrong right? Considering the fact that I wasn't going to be friends outside of work anyways.

Then they said that I did not inform them whenever I go to the toilet, for lunch or that I am knocking off (recently). I was just like - WTFAK. I thought my lunch time is fixed from 1100am - 1130am. I almost never went for lunch late and most of the time I am back on time. Plus, they fixed this timing for me. Okay la for toilets, I have the duty to inform them just in case there wasn't much help at the counter. But going home lol, they also said it before that if I am not being asked to stay back then ya I can go home. Formality is one thing luh but idk at offices, do people really announce to everyone that they are leaving lol. But then again, maybe they are just asking for a simple hi-bye.

Throughout the time when she was talking to me, I just sat there and acknowledge whatever she said because its kind of true, and I don't deny the things she said. And then she start asking me why am I like this and etc. That's when I felt that its a fucking chore to explain everything to her.

Everything I explain to her probably sounded like a fucking excuse.

I told her that I did not sleep for 2 days and then she start saying like I choose to work here (correct) and its not like the people there offended me (correct) so why should they put up with my unhappiness and etc (true). But the thing is - I just did not talk to them? 

I seriously wont bother or don't bother to foster good relationship with the person if I feel like there is no point to it.

I was about to tender last Sunday but if I were to do it, they will probably be like thinking is it because of what she talked to me or they might say things like I need to be more mature and learn how to adapt and survive even if the environment does not suit me (true/false). Well, those are what I assume that they might say lol.

Can't do it next sunday because of the talk too lol next week is the last day to give a one week in advance notice for them to find a new part timer.

I feel so pek cek like I have to fucking keep justifying myself which sometimes makes me feel like if I am making an excuse for myself which is not true but it becomes like this. I start doubting myself and all. Seriously hate this.

I guess I shall just explain nicely and reassure  them that that is not the reason.

On the side note, while she is quiet she can speak her nice in a relatively nice way and also assert her authority. So by no means, I was offended at all. (Later people say, I die also don't want to admit my fault lol #explosiveSinglish).

Well, that's all for my rant today. More rants to come, ciaos.

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Xi Tong, 20歳.
Singapore // Gemini

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