Ever since I entered university, i just have shit loads of anxiety issues. And i don't even know why. I never used to panic even if i know that i am probably not going to do well. Rather than panicking, i would stay calm and just do whatever i can.

But apparently that's not enough for university.

I mean, I do still enjoy my social life here but I don't want to keep using the excuse of my not being used to the GPA system and what not. And fuck, i legit feel more and more stupid at some times and I hate to feel that way. Because I know how well i can fare.

Every time i get nagged about studies i kinda dreaded it. It just makes me fucking panic. Like no matter how much i do is not enough. Even if i try to focus on what i can do rather than being depress and shit, its not enough. I have to admit that i suck at dealing with external stress. But i am okay with internal stress lol. Like if i stress myself, its a good stress. But if others exert it on me, i just can't seem to take it well. I start doubting myself and what not, and i dislike that too.

Maybe i am not as strong as i thought.