Wednesday, February 10, 2016 at 11:18 PM with
I know i have blogged about my brother countless of time but seriously i hope one day i can stop blogging about him because of such stuff. It feels bad okay, to talk about my brother like this. I feel bad because i am his sister and i am suppose to protect him or what not but no. I have my own limits too. I wish i could video his actions etc and show it to everyone who asked me about him. But that's seriously mean so i didn't. People always ask me why am i so mean to my brother? Okay then, try living with him for a few days.

Yes i do admit that i am someone who lacks the fucking patience to deal with him. I honestly do not believe he has mental issue but maybe he requires some "special needs". Like he just fucking needs all the attention to be on HIM. LIKE HE NEEDS EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE AND EVERYONE TO CARE AND DO THINGS FOR HIM. IF HE CAN'T GET IT HE WILL TRY HURTING HIMSELF OR HE START REPEATING ALL THE VULGARITIES THAT HE KNOWS CONTINUOUSLY.

I seriously have no idea how to explain this using words, okay i know i suck at it and i legit wanted to video it down.

I am just damn frustrated because everyone in the family is just closing BOTH eyes and letting him do most of whatever he wants. Or like best, defend him in every ways that they can.

If he steps on me, he blames the shoe.
If he drop something, he blames the object for dropping.

It will NEVER ever be his fault for ANYTHING.
I tried to be more vocal recently but i have to face this same shit and cycle almost every day.

Yeah i am sorry for not being like some of you having a big heart and lots of patience, if you think that i am mean and being an asshole sister, sure. But honestly i have no idea how to deal with him anymore because i think that it lies in my parents? If my parents don't do anything, whatever i do is equivalent to useless right? Am i doing anything wrong? Yes, EVERYTHING.

I would probably rant about this again, sooner or later.
Some people need more time, yes i agree. But i hope to remain sane while he takes his time. 

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Xi Tong, 20歳.
Singapore // Gemini

"Embrace the glorious mess you are." - Elizabeth Gilbert
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