Sunday, August 4, 2013 at 7:42 AM with

Well, i guess nowadays i am a little more quiet than usual and i feel down most of the time. For the past 2 or 3 weeks, it has been like that, recently a little bit better but its still like that lol. So many things have been happening and even i myself have no idea what i really want at times and how i really feel. Class issues, grades, friendship problems and etc.

Whatever, i don't really let such things bother me much anymore lol. I mean like friendship stuff. Seriously, if you want to leave, please leave and don't come back. If you want to act, try mediacorp. No time to deal with this shit. Anws, this doesn't affect this that much. There has been a similar trend since primary school .. i mean such things happening is pretty common right? Okay, maybe not lol. I just happen to be the unlucky one :/ meh. Friends that are always there, stays.

Some say i am overthinking, but rather than that, i would say i am taking time to analyse and think properly about things. I dont know, i just have the habit to let my mind wonder, think about things that happened around me or to me. Be it good or bad, sad or happy. I can't just leave my mind blank, empty and think about nothing else.

Grades, well i just have to work hard i guess? I'm well-known for my ultimate laziness. I deleted facebook and twitter off my phone (not my account), so i am hardly or even not there most of the time. kept instagram though sigh. Whatever. Need to learn to maximise my time and not to be like an ox, don't be stubborn. Learn and grow up. Accept and move forward. Hang in there. I have about 55 days or so till promotional exams, have to do well.

You know sometimes people can be confusing. They ask you not to be mean, so you be nice and then they ask you to be yourself, It makes to confuse and not knowing how to behave naturally around them. god knows what they want. Make it clear please. Sometimes i stick with someone who jokes around and play tricks on me so that i can always laugh it off. Okay, make it most of the time. Because sometimes when someone is too nice to me, i don't know how to react. I know i am not that much of a very kind/nice/good person, so i don't know how to accept that. It just makes me feel .. worse. Yeah, probably time to do some self-reflection and deal with myself.

For me, it's hard to open up to people. And when i do, most of the time people don't take it seriously or that they don't listen. That's maybe why i keep a blog. I get to get all these things out.

Well, it has been a very long time since i post such a long and wordy post lol. Fret not, i think that there will be more to come haha.

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Xi Tong, 20歳.
Singapore // Gemini

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