can't believe that today i actually cried during training, thank god it's not school training lol.But whatever i dont like to cry outside of my own room and i dont want to cry in front of people. Yet i did anws today. Shouldn't have let those thoughts bothered me during judo because once it caught me off guard, idk, just somehow tears flow out by themselves. I feel bad for the person who was training with me today cause he prolly thing thinks that it's his fault but it's not. It's really really really hard for me to open up my feelings to others. I only tell those that i want to. But then whenever i open up, they either don't listen or they tell others. And i am getting annoyed and tired of these. Fuck this shit, next time please don't ask me if i am alrgiht or not when i no longer say much or i walk away. Really.